dialog on psychology and inspiration
July 2nd, 2009
Are you like me? Do you love art? I find stuff like this mesmerizing. Whether it’s clothing, or paintings, or something more random like heart pendant jewelry, art is all around us. Slowing down to appreciate and assign meaning to that art is the real trick. If you like the photo, check out this bloggers collection of many design inspirations based on ordinary items. Just click on the guitar above.
June 30th, 2009
This one goes out to folks young and old in the workplace. Try as I might, I cannot convince some teachers who work under me to contact ME if they need anything. These odd 2 people continue to bypass me and ask for things from my boss. This is foolish for many reasons but the most important in my case is this: I CAN GET IT FOR THEM BETTER AND FASTER THAN MY BOSS. It is my job to do that. Lucky for me, my boss is really mellow and he has given me calls asking why, for example, the computers are still down in one room. I respond with the truth which is: “I was never informed they were out.”
As the guy who has been overstepped, let me describe how it feels when this happens:
Like somehow I got my position by “accident?”
I don’t “get it.”
I’m less intelligent than my superior.
I can’t be approached …
Just to name a few.
Luckily for me, many people value my leadership and tell me that all the time. These people keep me going, and of course the clients: “school children.” I get positive feedback from them and my boss. So, I am left here standing in the wind of misunderstanding about why certain people continue to ignore that I am ready, willing, and able to serve them. Building a team takes much care. In a way, it’s like shopping for loose diamonds to build a quality work of jewelry.
Please folks, always use the chain of command as it exists. It was made that way for a reason, and you only make everyone’s life harder when you try a quick call to the top. If doing the right thing proves fruitless, feel free to call her/his supervisor but talk to her/him first. That is the right way to go about getting things.
June 27th, 2009
This photo is a good illustration of the mood “satisfaction.” I started with Google ads on my site nearly 2 years ago in early 2007 and I finally cracked the $100 threshold this past week. The check came in the mail today and as I had once vowed to you all, I’ve posted a photo of me holding it. You can blow it up to 900px by clicking on the check. Satisfaction is a highly valuable mood state to a blogger. You feel empowered, rested, inspired, and accomplished. You feel like you can move forward without frustration. This does wonders for the mood. Blogging has extreme highs but let’s face it, unless you’re Chris Brogan or one of those other “geniuses” (I say that respectfully but with my tongue firmly in my cheek) mood lifters don’t happen every day. Thanks to my readers of the last 2 years, we’ve been through a lot together. This Google check may only be $109 but it is a huge milestone for me. I both appreciate and intend to pay you back through the currency of positive energy here at “Postcards” in the years to come. Comments are appreciated! Let’s party.
June 26th, 2009
Love is about psychology. It’s also about the primal lack thereof sometimes. A balance of “letting it happen” and “making it happen” is needed sometimes to make a connection with your wife. This post is for the guys out there, concerned with making and keeping that connection alive. Wives, you might want to read and leave a comment to help us out!
I’m sure many of you recognize the title of this post as a Bryan Adams song from the 90’s. It is the lead song from the Johnny Depp/Marlon Brando classic comedy: Don Juan de Marco. If you have a chance to watch that movie, you really will enjoy it. It’s up there either in my top 5 of all time or somewhere close. One of the reason I laugh in that movie is because it strikes a chord of truth.
Coming from a guy’s perspective, I can say that women are amazing. They can make you feel and understand things in new ways that are marvelous and breathtaking.
They can also drive you crazy!
Of course I have heard the same about men (the make you crazy part that is) from my wife and assorted friends through the years. It’s the subject of most sitcoms (The King of Queens comes to mind). The opposite sex can take you to heaven and drop you through hell. This post is about that piece of heaven that comes from really opening yourself to knowing a woman, which I set out to do when I said “I do” in November of 2002 and what I try to do each wonderful day with Sarah, my wife.
Surrender as an experiment
Part of “seeing” someone is dropping your guard. Don’t be corrective. I have real trouble with this one. Being a teacher, it seems I am always correcting kids. It’s hard to “code switch” and do things different when I get home. I have found however when I consciously listen and hold back judgment (which isn’t always I’m afraid) I learn something new from her. This is also sometimes a great activity with my kids but that is another post. Surrender as an experiment and see how it works.
Make her feel desirable
Touch is the most obvious but more subtle things work just as well sometimes. Notes, flowers, listening, trinkets, unexpected gifts. As a husband, this is where you get creative. Even as I write this I realize I am quite due for some of these activities. Are you?
Show interest in her.
Right now in my marriage there is a lot of talk about me. I have a lead teacher job like I have never done before and so I am always talking about it. I’m an extremely verbal person and my wife usually is very patient with me. Once in a while though, I’m sure she gets sick of my talking. Turn the talking toward her. Sentences that start like this are a good idea:
“How is your mother doing?”
“How is you friend feeling?”
“How is your book?”
you get the idea …
This is a good practice all the time. So … the question going out there to guys is this:
You may have already dated, had sex, married, or moved in with her … My question is still the same, “Have you ever really ever loved a woman?”
If you want to go farther with your wife or girlfriend, I hope this post has helped you on your way. I can tell you I have really loved a woman but I have miles to go. I’m the luckiest husband alive in my view, and I intend to keep it that way ;)
June 24th, 2009
Dynamite Lesson Plan is an education-related blog featuring posts on teaching, parenting, psychology, and education.
My Other Blog
Thanks to my readers here at Postcards from the Funny Farm (PFTFF). I’m excited to tell you about my “other” blog today. Around July 2008 I launched a teaching-oriented blog entitled “Dynamite Lesson Plan.” (DLP) It’s grown since then to have about 200 RSS subscribers.
A Community
The comments have been enlightening and educational to read and it feels like a community over there. I hope you can help me spread the news about this blog. If you are a teacher or if you are interested in education and teaching, I invite you to visit DLP:
SITE: Dynamite Lesson Plan
-or try the feed for a while to see if you like it-
RSS FEED: Dynamite Lesson Plan FEED
Guest Post Authors Invited!
I hope my articles there continue to be informative and interesting to teachers and all readers. In addition, I had the special opportunity to host a guest blogger twice. She is a wonderful writer and I am interested in hosting more from her and others of you out there. If you are interested in a guest post spot on DLP, please get in touch with me at:
EMAIL: rileycentral at gmail dot com
Here’s to a great summer 2009 for all of us!
-Damien Riley, Author of “Dynamite Lesson Plan”
June 22nd, 2009
In the many jobs I’ve had before and during my 12 year career as a teacher, there have always been certain types present on the job. Here are 4 prevalent ones I seem to always see:
I think the modern perception is that the workaholic will always get the job and the promotion. This of course causes the go-getters who will work hours off the clock just to get ahead become the only ones who occupy the positions of high authority. Fortunately, that isn’t a steadfast truth, it’s simply a norm that I have noticed.
Next, there are the “disinterested.” Amazingly, these people sometimes get ahead. Usually however, they are either canned or stuck at their level of entry.
Another type are the “Family First” folks. I have seen these in Pizza Hut and at all the school districts I have worked for. They put pictures up with their family, they are always talking about their family. They do a great job, you can rely on them, and when the whistle blows at the end of the paid day, they go home and everybody knows where. This is the type I strive to be. I feel I can be more effective for my employer if I have the strength from home to do so. I am not sure where single people fit into this type. Maybe they can’t 100%. To me it seems a fully self-actualized person builds a family and uses the job to support the family. In turn, the family powers the job. It’s a win/win.
Last are the “wannabe” folks. These people copy everyone. They never have original ideas. They are like chameleons. On a crass level, you might call them the “kiss asses.” They are all around if you take the time to look. I won’t ever be one of these. One of the reasons I got into teaching because it had intrinsic rewards such as the virtue of instilling knowledge in kids and honesty. Doing that gives me energy in a similar way to spending time with my family. Having said that, without time and energy from my family I am less productive teaching. That’s why I don’t seek to “be a hero” as much as I did as a single guy working his way up.
Of course, labels are never cut and dry. There may be a little of each of these in you. I know I have tried each one out a different times. What better time than in a recession that to establish what you truly value. Do you worship your job abd your paycheck? My goal is to be a “Family First” employee. I’ll show up a little early and sstay a little late but I value my lovely kids and wife far to much to ever put their needs above the needs of my job. I suggest (but do not judge if you don’t) that you do the same as we weather this recession/depression.
June 21st, 2009
These are great links I ran across last week:
June 19th, 2009
Have you ever been in a psych ward? Perhaps you know someone who has? There isn’t a whole lot written about the experience because of the stigma. What I have read from authors like Carrie Fisher (actress who played Princess Leia in Star Wars 1977, open about her bipolar 1 disorder) is frightening. There are certainly times with certain severely troubled individuals when it is unavoidable. Having said that, it would appear the best way through a mental illness is to avoid hospitalization at all costs. It should only be a last resort.
When a person is deemed a threat to her/himself or others, this is called a “5150″ and by law the mentally ill person must be admitted to a lockdown facility.
The literature tells us that, besides jail, it’s the worst place to be. I ran across this fascinating article that sheds some light on it at PsychCentral. Perhaps you or someone you know will find it helpful or interesting. It’s one of those “shows” you’ll never see on prime time! This is a great article to get a peek into the life of a diagnosed depressed person living their life and striving to avoid a 5150.
June 18th, 2009
My favorite summer memories are the ones where the family spent all morning and day haranguing each other to get the house and backyard perfect for company. Then the trip to the store where we bought lakes worth of soft drinks and especially root beer. There was always some beer, but only our friend Ron drank it (just kidding Ron).
I remember the smell of the Coppertone, the sizzle of steaks, chicken, burgers, and dogs on the industrial strength bar-b-cue. Flips, blowup toys, and my favorite: “The Dead Man’s Fall” into the pool.
After food and swimming we’d take the guitars out on the deck and play some bluegrass, a little Beatles, some original tunes my brother or my uncle or I had been working on.
All this would ease into night when we’d set off fireworks out front in the cul-de-sac. It was like a little dome of civilization in those hours. Nobody was left out and everybody had a place. Oh, and how could I forget the smell of asphalt contrasted against the taste of a watermelon eating contest. Those are a few of mine.
June 15th, 2009
When I start my pool cleaning ritual each week, I walk around the pool taking note of what I see. More importantly, I pay attention to how it makes me feel. If I see leaves in a cluster, I need to net them. If I see algae starting, I need to do a shock and get some algae killer. The point is, I don’t need any scientific instruments or to see what needs to be done.
I see our life as the pool sometimes. We need to leave the clipboard behind and just walk around our life, metaphorically speaking, to note what is working and what needs help. Bette Midler sang that classic tune “From a Distance.” I think seeing our life “from a distance” like a walk around a pool will give us clear, new insights about hoe we appear and what we value. Making an effort to get out of your “comfort zone.” This could be in the form of a full fledged vacation, such as my friend Justin’s 5 day trip to Cabo. Or, it could be simply waking up before the dawn to make coffee and then walking the dog around the street. When I do this, the heavy stuff sort of falls away and I see clearly how to set new goals and change my life. Once you look at your “jobs” that need to be done either by the pool or in your own head, get the industrial equipment supplies you need for the pool and possibly the therapy you need for your head and get it done.
I encourage you to step back and look at your life. It can do wonders for your psyche.
