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This is a guest post by Chelle from It Might Be Love.
It’s pretty easy to find yourself completely overwhelmed with a seemingly never ending to-do list. We’ve all been there at some point or another, and many of us are there most of the time. I probably have at least 2 or 3 dozen things I “have to do” on any given day.
The other day I was at my “That’s it! I’ve had it!” point. I was yelling at the kids for no good reason and complaining to my husband about everything. There were a million things I had to do and no time to do anything I wanted to do. I was having one of those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day kind of days.
That’s when my husband reminded me of something very important: You don’t have to.
Those 4 little words couldn’t be more true. What could be so important that you absolutely HAVE to do it? The dishes will stay in the sink. The laundry will wait. The kids will not suffer any severe nutritional consequences if you let them eat ice cream for dinner. You can cancel your morning appointments. You can call in “sick” or skip out of work early. You could quit your job and find a new one. You could pack up and leave for the Bahamas tomorrow and never look back if you really wanted to. Life still goes on.
Our lives are filled with thousands of things we can do and choices for us to make each and every day. No one is standing there with a proverbial gun forcing you to to do anything. Doing (or not doing) things like chores or errands or going to work on time are not typically life and death stituations for most of us.
We spend so much time thinking about the things we “have to do” we get sidetracked from the good parts of life: enjoying a favorite hobby, visiting with an old friend, watching a sunset, fulfilling our dreams. Think of how many times you’ve thought to yourself “I wish I had more time for this” or “I would love to do this more or that more.” We blame everything and everyone else for why we can’t do the things we love. We convince ourselves that it’s everyone else’s fault our dreams and hopes and wishes never become a reality.
Ironically it’s NOT everyone else’s fault. We are ultimately the ones in control of what we do and don’t do. For some reason we create our own invisible expectations for ourselves. We become people pleasers. We feel guilty about doing the things we enjoy. And we inevitably miss out on the important things that actually make life worthwhile.
So next time you find yourself stressed out and overwhelmed by all the things you think you have to do, just remember: You don’t have to. You are in control of what you do and don’t do. As Damien would say take your troubles and Push them to the sidebar of life.
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Hey Chelle, I love this post. Thank you so much for the guest blog. Things have been a bit tense in my house as well lately. We have a lot going on. I may be known forever now as the guy who says you don’t have to do the dishes but that’s okay if someone’s mental health is saved ;)
Truer words were never spoken. Sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves that we don’t realize how much freedom regarding the choices we do have.
We haven’t had ice cream for dinner, but popcorn and chocolate twizzlers have made the menu on occasion and we’re all still here! :)
Jessica The Rock Chis last blog post..Shuffle Off
oh but everyone has to play!
David | beplayfuls last blog post..Best of April (with link love)
David: I agree wholeheartedly! Even if it is in a grocery go-kart from time to time!
Here’s a to-do list we can follow for the weekend:
1. Leave the dishes in the sink.
2. Play Frisbee
3. Eat ice cream and twizzlers for dinner.
Thank you Damien for letting me take over for the day!
chelles last blog post..Kiss it and Make it All Better…
My cupboard is stacked with dirty dishes (rinsed but not yet washed). My bed is laden with a couple of piles of laundry that need folding and putting away. The carpeting could use vacuuming. So, am I stressing out?
The work will wait until I choose to do it. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m in charge of my life. Life is too short to waste it on drudgery. I need a “girl fix” so I’m taking Chelle’s advice. My friend and I are going on a walk and talk in the woods. :)
timethiefs last blog post..How to get on the Woopra bandwagon
timethief: make sure it’s away from that Blair Witch Project thingie LOL. Thanks for the comment timethief.
chelle: Sounds like some people around here “got it.” Thanks so much for your guest post.
I didn’t have to but I’m going to comment on this post. Nice post Chelle I have been taking this approach more and more lately when I don’t feel like stressing myself out. Only the important things have to get done. The minor things eh no worries.
sogeshirtss last blog post..David Blaine: Brainless Houdini
Chelle, I took that approach when our son and then our niece were younger. I already worked full time, had at least one interest of my own. I have never regretted 95% of the things I didn’t do so I could spend time with them, but I do regret that 5% - I went to the other extreme, but if I had the choice again, I would rather err that way than the other — and he did not pick up my bad habits! Whew.
Marcias last blog post..And so, the pot was sweetened!
Toooootalllllly relate to this one! I just quit my job (last day was yesterday!!) because the stress was super overwhelming and I wasn’t being my positive, upbeat self. When I handed my boss the letter of resignation, I just about cried with releif! It feels SO good to be moving on to more positive prospects and out of that job where I felt so restricted.
I used to get so stressed about things but I’d keep at them because “I had to”. Now, if somethin stresses me, whether its the housework or a craft project, I just set it down and go to the TV or a good book to relax. I don’t HAVE to get stressed about that stuff!!
Thanks for the post, this was a great one!
katelyns last blog post..Gotta Have a Sheltie!
Hey, I just did this yesterday, when I called in sick to work, and the day before that when I didnt go to school. Im a strong believer in the “you dont have to” philosophy :D