In the past year I have lost my grandfather and I’ve seen some friends lose spouses and other relations: it’s been rough. I know many people reading this can relate with the death of a loved one. I remember my grandfather, and these other people as so vibrant, so a part of life. Now that they are gone it is sobering to realize that I will never see them again. It has gotten me to thinking about what really matters in life. I first mentioned this “think about what you will leave behind” notion in my past post “So, What Do You Want on Your Tombstone,” and the idea has grown and coalesced even up to now all these months later. It’s become like a lighthouse for me, influencing my choices and making me a better man by the day.
There are accolades at my work to strive for if one chooses to. You can do what it takes and get a small plaque presented to you … etc. Or, you can think about those who have gone ahead of you and what they have left behind that matters. In the entrance to our auditorium at the school where I teach there is a photo case. In that photo-case is a montage picture of the teachers when the school opened in 1985. I was 15 at the time. The teachers in the picture have retro 80’s shirts and most the men have beards. The pattern on the clothes are the kind you just don’t see nowadays. It was a different time but the teachers them were flesh and blood as I am now with my staff. Losing my grandfather got me thinking more about what I will leave behind by way of legacy and less about what I can get out of life while I’m alive.
Leaving something behind is my biggest passion. I’ll admit, while writing blog posts I think about how my kids will one day read them. I think about whether to include all my rants when I don’t see as they will offer them any help in life. I think this is a good filter. This mindset also filters out the drama of my work. When I am only concerened with making a contribution, the gossip lines fade in order of importance. I want to leave behind a model of passion for teaching, for blogging, for guitar and piano and the appreciation of many kinds of music. I want people to be encouraged by what I have done and believe they can do even better. When I think of how animated and gregarious my Grandpa was in his 85 years, I get inspired to live fully. If I can encourage even one other person to do that, then I will feel my life was success. That kind of influence is what I hope to leave behind. If you could leave behind just 3 things, what would they be?
1. ?
2. ?
3. ?
Hi. I'm Damien Riley, MA.
4 Comments
Wow—very thought provoking!! I’m going to think about this and post back…
I’ll be looking forward to it (if you have time!)
d
Nice post. If you plan on leaving your blog behind you probably should have some plan for it now to just die with you - some backup plan, hosting fees, renewing domains… Here is a site I setup for my father: The Life and Legacy of William G. Hunter.
John Hunter’s last blog post..Home Values and Rental Rates
That’s a great idea. I’ve sort of planned for it by planning an annual "press" of my blog to paper. My wife made me a beautiful one on my blog’s 1 year anniversary. I suppose if I were to go before her, she knows I’d like her to backup the files. Your dad’s page is very well done, as are all your curious cat blogs. Thanks for stopping by the fun over here.
One Trackback
[...] Derek Semmler at Dad Balance writes about helpful issues facing dads and families. He wrote this week about how you can know when you’re in the wrong job. He says that if your Sundays feel different from your Fridays then you might reconsider your job choice. Obviously its not that simple but there is a lot of wisdom in seeking a job you love. It’s easier said than done for those of us trying to get ahead and be great at what we do. On the other hand, it’s the only way to look at it when you’re facing cancer or other catastrophic life event. Instead of waiting for something bad to happen, we could learn a lot from these people right now. Someone once said that the happiest most successful people are able to learn from others’ mistakes. Look at the people who are running out of time, how much are they concerned with work? I wrote some other thoughts on this in a recent article called “What will you leave behind.” [...]