Help and Asking for It
Occasionally on this blog, you’ll have private access to the inner workings of a very complex and simple and often quite Bozo-like blog author’s brain. I try to be real, and sometimes I achieve it. (LOL) This is one of those posts, I hope you can relate, maybe learn what I have from it, and hopefully get a chuckle or two as you go.
My 2 year old rarely lets me guide her hand in an activity. She wants to make, build, cut, play, and everything else all on her own. Today when I think about it, I’m the same way about accepting help. Sometimes I say inwardly:
“I don’t need anybody, I can do it all by myself while training everyone else as well.”
Next year my grade-level-team is embarking on a monumentally different method of planning and teaching. Because we’ve never done this before, I’ve had a hard time outlining how it’s gonna work. I need help to lead my team. I contacted a teacher at another school across town and I am going to meet with her today to get the “help” I obviously need in this situation. Still, I can’t ignore my loud conscience saying:
“I am completely useless because I don’t know how to do this thing myself.”
For me, this is huge growth to have asked for help. I’m positive this meeting today will strengthen my knowledge, but until then I still feel reticent, hesitant. I feel like I will be bothering her, which is odd because I am always eager to help anybody who asks me. I should be entitled to help right? Why do I still feel this way? My inner voice says:
“I feel guilty for not being able to figure this out without bothering anyone.”
Help is an odd yet wonderful word. It signals weakness and ignorance when one needs it, and at the same time strength and wisdom when one asks for it. I think one ought to get as much as she/he can, and then offer the same to others throughout life. Maybe as I adapt more to this mindset about help, it’ll be easier to accept. I’d like to feel a new positive affirmation inside saying:
“I’m an accomplished teacher brave and wise enough to ask for help and by doing so I become better.”
Hmmm. That’s the ticket!
Now that the mindset is there, it will be easier, I hope. I understand, though, once we are used to being the one that helps all the time, it is a little strange to be asking for help — you mentioned helping her — they say we learn by teaching, so in a way, you are.
I think your attitude is quite natural and human. It’s a question of the way one is educated right from early age. Some people have learnt to rely upon themserlves others have learnt to rely upon others. When a person is used to having people doing things for them, they will always feel the need for being helped and vis versa. better be in your position than be asking people to do things for you as it’s not obvious to get all the help one needs.
I like the issue as I myself act in the same way you do .
have a nice day