Table of contents for How to Relax

  1. Visualization
  2. Deep Breathing
  3. Maintain A Passive Attitude
  4. Actively Let Things Go
  5. Let it Go …Continued
  6. Relax Before it’s Too Late
  7. Music as Antidote for Stress

inspiration, psychologyDr. Herbert Benson of Harvard Medical School pioneered the relaxation response, a term he coined in the 1970s. Part of this method is to “maintain a passive attitude.” His method is centered on practice and learned behavior. When you can concentrate on a word, phrase, visual, or body movement, you are able to escape the overpowering worries of the day.

Through this method, theoretically you should be able to move in and out of a relaxed state by using a single item to concentrate on, such as a word or phrase. As I have said before, there is great power in focusing on just one thing at a time. You can actually be more productive in doing so than you would be focusing on more than your stress threshold can handle. I guess I should define that: I mean the threshold between normal physical functioning (ie; blood pressure 120/80 or lower) and abnormal functioning (ie; excessive sweating, breathing problems, discomfort etc.). Let’s examine what a passive attitude sounds like through five sentences. Perhaps you could add a few of your own.

  1. Oh well.
  2. I’m over it.
  3. That’s one way to look at it.
  4. Is that so?
  5. I see.

Now let’s contrast them with some unhealthy, stress inducing responses:

  1. Oh my God, what will I do?
  2. You don’t understand! This is awful.
  3. Are you trying to be a jerk or something?
  4. Well great, I guess I was totally wrong.
  5. Screw you.

Now some may laugh at those, but they aren’t funny. Eckhart Tolle says in his bestselling book The New Earth that “resentment is the result of an illusion we choose to believe.” Isn’t every negative reaction really the result of an illusion we choose to believe in? My wife tells me I am like Winnie the Pooh sometimes when I am overly passive about bills, work, struggles, etc. That may be true because my dad is like that too. However, some of that is my attempt to invoke the relaxation response.

Another way I get into that passive “place” is to imagine myself going under a wave and doing a somersault underwater at the beach. That is something that relaxes me in real life. Visualizing it during times of trouble or fatigue helps me maintain a passive attitude, but this is visualization which we have already covered. I could also say a term like “wave somersault” repeatedly to summon the same effect. What could be your word or phrase to maintain a passive attitude?

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