We are Now Our Parents
Monday, June 9th, 2008
Our parents occupy a space in our psyches that determines so many of our thought patterns. It starts when we are very young babies and continues on until even after they pass away and we ourselves become the unique parents and grandparents. If we are fortunate, our parents are people we can and should trust as children and into adulthood. For me, and many I hope, our parents give us unconditional love that enables us to do the great things we dream of. You see that kind of love in church and on religious jewelry, but rarely do we run across it in life.
When we are kids, mom and dad’s discipline is usually dreaded. It makes us angry. They tell us to not run across wet tile and to make sure we wear a coat outside when it’s cold. We of course resent these demands as children and automatically assume our parents are ordering out out of spite, envy, or just plain meanness. The craziest thing is that when we slip on the floor after disobeying or when we catch a nasty could and cough for not heeding our parents’ commands, we still resent them. It flies in the face of reason but I see it often in my own son and I remember the same pattern happening when I was young. Now, at age 39, I find myself hungering for advice from my parents. They give it when I ask but it is not the same. It’s like an unwritten rule that when you do become an adult, you have to find your own way. DOH! Reality bites sometimes.
