Postcards from the Funny Farm

There comes a time in life when we have done all we can do and the only thing left is to wait through the day to day.  I have a bloggy friend, for example, who has been given her share of lemons and is trying desperately to make lemonade.   What should she do when she’s finished stirring?  Stop, look, and support those around her.  Of course, we should be supportive at all times but sometimes more than others, we have a real opportunity to just support.  In turn, we get a clear perspective.

Another example is that my wife has been taking some real strides in parenting. I am so glad to see the charts she has created for our son and daughters to get them in bed on time and without turmoil. I’ve been helping as much as I can and I really see nothing to add to her new methods, they are wonderful.  So how can I let my wife know I appreciate what she is doing? Support her parenting. I think most spouses want to be respected and supported.  So, when I don’t know what else to do: I can stop, look, and support.

At work, you might be in a position of leadership. If so, offer support to those you lead. If you are not in leadership, offer support to the leader above you. Support her/his ability to lead. You may find these connections become highly valuable to you and your advancement. Most people appreciate support. It’s a very good bet they will notice the support you give.

With your own kids, or your nieces and nephews if you don’t have kids, support their role as students of life. You can turn even adolescent indifference into wonder if you just stay faithful as a supportive force. When you have a bad day, kids can tell. Make sure you show them through their actions that being supportive is possible even when the chips are down.

I’ve heard doctors say that the practice of medicine is just keeping the patient calm while mother nature does the work. You can be something like an “inspiration doctor” simply through support. The way to support varies from person to person but figuring it out is usually not too complicated . Give it a try.  Why not go into today being aware of this.  Don’t miss your chance to be a great force in your world: stop, look, and support.

Your answer to that question may be the reason you’re not getting what you want.

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

-Dale Carnegie

Of all his quotes, this one is the best in my opinion. It’s like the old adage your mother and father said when you were young: “If you want to have a friend, you have to be a friend.” Ah if it were only so simple to put into practice. Here’s a gem of knowledge I’ve picked up: aspirers to greatness, get out your pens.

When fettered by the pressures of the day, there is a way out. Well, I’ll call it a way through since “way out” connotes quitting. Instead of focusing on your pressures and concerns, tell yourself on the way to work or whatever it is you are doing: “I will try and help others first today.” You will find this to be a transformative experience that will open your mind more to those around you. As a result, you will be more accepting and your troubles will likely become easier to deal with. I wouldn’t recommend this unless I had tried it. And as always, I write it here in part to remind myself to use it. Try thinking of others above yourself tomorrow and see what happens. I think you’ll be pleased and surprised.

If there is anything I give to my kids, I hope it’s the ability to distinguish between what is real and what is fake. I want my kids to recognize love when it’s real and run away from it when it’s fake. The same for friends, jobs, sales pitches, people, and the opportunities of life that present themselves. So, you may ask, what makes me think I know what real is? The answer is simple: I study it, identify it, and emulate it. If there is no model for real success in a given realm, I self-define it. If I had a magic mantra, I’d be a billionaire. There is no real shortcut to distinguishing what is real from what is fake. Each person must come up with her/his own definition. But you can practice at this ability. In some ways it’s the most important skill in life.

I once heard that bank employees go through a week long training where mostly all they do is spend time fondling and examining money. The idea being that if they are familiar with real money then they will more easily and automatically spot a counterfeit.

There’s the advice right there, the philosopher’s stone, the diamond in the rough:

Spend time with what you know is real, be it in the realm of people, literature, mathematics, religion, God (notice I made the two quite different things). Whatever it is that you hunger for in life, get close to the real. The fake will be revealed in the presence of the real.

Let me give you another example. Let’s say you want to be a success. There are minions of websites and corporations who want to define that for you. Some may be real, some may be a wolf in sheep clothing. Sp how do you navigate these waters? Define success. Watch examples of your definition. Get to know people who share components of your definition of success.

Spend time with the real and you’ll know how to spot a fake. Have you ever been duped by Amway or other MLM marketing scheme? Ask yourself this: would you have fallen so easily if you’d taken the time to define what success is for you? If I would have known (and I lost $500 when I was 20 at an Amway meeting) how real success was defined, I wouldn’t have stayed past the opening greeting with designer water and cashews. When you have defined success on your terms, no one can take away the growing happiness that results as you get closer to your goal. Have you ever bought into something you thought was real but really was a counterfeit?

Afterthought: One example of how I define success is my personal “CAN” ranking system for my b.... You can read more about this here. You might find parallels in your quest to define and rank the successes of your life.

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FutureResume.com is a new company I am excited to tell you about. In the same way video dating companies have revolutionized the way people find love, so now FutureResume.com has applied the video concept to job searching and more importantly … job applicant screening. From their about page:

Companies waste a significant amount of time and money searching for and interviewing prospective candidates only to learn what might have been expressed up front in a short video introduction. FutureResume.com simplifies the selection process by allowing candidates to show their personality and professional commitment right on our website.

Folks, if you are out work, looking to change careers, or just starting out, this is the place I would start with a video and the services they offer. To show you how it works, I have made a short video myself for this post.  Vote for me here.

This video is part of a current contest which you can enter as well. Here’s the contest details.