Postcards from the Funny Farm

Last time I wrote to you about the Power of Mantra. Before starting this as part two, Listen for Half a Day, I went back and read it again. I also took a nice long walk around my neighborhood admiring lawns and pink flamingoes, trying to make sure the next post was helpful and relevant to the series. The subject I realized today is another key tip in practicing an open mind.

As creative, enlightened people, we should actively practice an open mind by listening as much as possible.

I hope that will make perfect sense to you after I have given you many ways to do it through the course of this series. Please feel encouraged to subscribe to this series via -or- . I’m excited about how valuable this is in opening ones mind.

To make a quick example, listen to this “open mind” tip on traveling:

Usually cheap flights have no issues in the flight performance but are a part of an economical deal, and hence cheap. The deals usually promote hotels. But if one does want to travel cheap, the best way is to stay at a travel lodge instead.

Here, you see having an open mind can save you money, and peace of mind.  I learned this deal because I took the time to listen.  In doing so, that which I thought was impossible is possible.

We’ve all heard the statistics about how women have larger brains and how they are better listeners and better at many other things than men. I am not here to argue that at all. My wife knows full well how much I believe she is playing with a larger emotional deck that I am. What I want to stress is that I believe women and men, based on my experience of family, work, and life, are all generally poor at listening. In fact, it might be a cultural thing that we as Americans do not like to listen. Many are like me, we like to talk, fast, hard, and loud, no matter who gets hurt or shut out.

What if you could be more enlightened about what the people around you think?

The other day I caught myself lecturing my son on how his things were in every room in the houses where they didn’t belong (including a shoe at the bottom of the pool). As I rambled on and watched his bulbous brown eyes begin to well up tears, I listened to myself and it was not the ideal I have for myself. Ever done that?

It is phenomenal how much our mind is opened when we listen fully to someone else. Active listening is when you say back what the other is saying periodically and that is a good idea. But can you listen to people for half a day and not have a response? I’ve tried it and friends it aint easy. Just let what they are saying penetrate your mind, don’t respond except for the normal, OK etc. This is crucial to the experiment.

I could give you many statistics on how listening makes you a better person and such, but let’s just try the experiment what do you say? Starting right now at 11:26am until 6 or 7 tonight when I am doing my evening laps and jacuzzi time, I am going to listen. We haven’t been to church in a while and we decided to go to Saturday night services tonight … I might have picked the perfect day ;)

At any rate, whatever you do and whoever you interact with, this is a good exercise. I think you will be blown away at the paradigm shifts you experience and the broader, more open mind that you enjoy as a result. If you are a blogger you might try interviewing someone you respect. Heck, we may all decide to never speak again! …probably not, but it sounded like a good close. Whether you do this experiment or not, I’d love to get your comments on the concept of listening.

Remember: The goal of each of these posts is to give you a more open mind.

Okay, so I covered the first two letters of value: “V” for visceral and “A” for aphoristic. Now the third: “L” for linkage! Link love is the #1 way to make friends and influence people (namely bloggers you link to on the web. After you’ve written your visceral post of around 200 words and given it a catchy and creative title, it is important before you press the “publish” button to add 3 deeplinks (links to other posts on your blog) and 3 linkloves (links to other blogs). This can become a standard practice and you will find it easy then. IT IS VERY CUMBERSOME AT FIRST. You need to try and automate the process however you can. It should be like brushing your teeth every morning. Just to give you some of my tips:

1. For backlinks I have a shortcut to my most popular posts page. I open it in a new tab and getting relevant backlinks that are my most popular is as easy as copy/paste. This helps with rank and authrity. It also links your best stuff for people who are interested in it. REMEMBER: The best way to include links is within the context of your writing. Just inserting them random looks like spam and worse than that, it turns off your readers. You can automatically insert links in your blog (I recommend for a 200 word post 3 backlinks and 3 linkloves) and have it enhance your content.
2. For linklove: I use WordPress. As I add new faves to my blogroll, I can go to Manage / links in the admin section an choose the “blank” window feature. Then when I want to get a link open to check out or copy, all I need to do is click. I try to consistently link to my favorite blogs and I notice they really appreciate it. ONE NOTE: Chelle reminded me that the anchor text that the url is assigned to is important to rank, so choose appropriate words. For example: I really like this guy, if guy is the anchor text, then they only get juice for the word guy. If I says: “This guy knows music!” Then you link more effectively to his site about pop culture, music, and being a D.J..

Linkage of external sites along with the 2 types listed above is the third letter in blog value. Coming up tomorrow: The mysterious “U.” Keep following these guidelines and who knows, maybe you’ll be lookin’ into those las vegas hotels

A very important part of learning how to blog is learning how to get out of a “funk” or a case of writer’s block. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the Library is a place to find humanity in life, and I will add to that a cure for writer’s block. Let me illustrate with a word-simulated trip through the Hesperia library:

“I enter and go to the section on computers, cyberculture and software. After I pick up a few books I proceed to the psychology and self-improvement section. I find a cool one on relaxation techniques and put that with the others under my arm. After that I need to put my books in a tote bag because they are about to fall from my arm. I go through the biography section and see too many names to check out. I make a mental note to myself to read them all … ALL.”

Your experience will vary depending on your tastes and curiosity. One thing I do know is that a trip to the library will fill your muse with ideas. I’m going again Saturday with my son, so get ready for some inspired stuff up in here. ;)

This is a screenshot from my son’s favorite game, Soul Caliber II. Since I promised him an hour just me and him doing stuff once a week in attempt to bond more, this game has become a weekly endeavor. The beast reminds me of the beast of sleepiness attacking me right now: unyielding, ferocious, unmerciful.

I think the worst torture we do to ourselves is sleep deprivation. Why is it so hard sometimes to just lay down and take a nap? When we’re tired it’s hard to stay positive. Usually there are times in the day we can sleep more and we just don’t. And then of course there are the many times it just isn’t possible with all we have to do. Spain and Mexico used to have a siesta in the day when all the stores closed and everyone taking a nap. I love the Hispanic culture, you can read more on that at my Cheese Enchiladas article here. In Soul Caliber II you have to strike the beast down to kill him. In the case of the sleepiness beast, you have to stop and do nothing do defeat him… why is that so hard to do?

Back to what I was saying: The tired feeling when you have things to do but keep nodding off is the single-most brutal beast in my life. It makes me cranky, impatient, grouchy, and uncomfortable. Maybe it’s because I spend too much time working, maybe it’s because I have recently been cutting way back on coffee … whatever the reasons, I’m a tired dude today and I think it’s probably mostly my fault.

I need to face it: It’s not possible to be a possibility thinker when I am too tired to think.  See you on the other side of a much needed nap.

Have you come face to face with the most brutal beast?