Postcards from the Funny Farm

Well, there weren’t any comments yesterday so either you are all speechless about my question or you are waiting for me, your dysfunctional guide to psychology, to give you my take on how to let things go. SPLENDID … I have a few methods I can recommend. Before I do though, let me just give a quick update on the house. It’s going really well. Unfortunately there is a lot of stuff we still haven’t gotten to but we are learning to just let it ride. The doors to the kids rooms are laying off their hinges on the floor as we are planing them to the right size and it’s a real bitch! Actually I should say that Sarah’s dad is doing that job and dealing with the hassles, but we all wish it could go smoother for him. We sat in the spa for the first time day … niiiiiiice. Okay, enough of the update. I only have a short time here at Starbucks since I have to get back with dinner for everybody. This is so weird not having internet at home. Driving around town finding the hot spots feels a lot like wanting sex! Anybody ever try it? Hopefully you won’t have to. Oh, one more thing: I just want to recommend movers as another way to relax. Without them this time I think we appeared to our new neighbors to be their new freaks moving in faster than the speed of light probably on criminal amounts of diet pills or something. On to letting go (how appropriate).

The Christian mystics said that getting closest to God was possible by completely letting go of all physical material things. That means, for example, that you would give up your house, your possessions, and even people if they got in the way of you surrendering completely to God. While I shiver at the thought of such a life, I do feel they were onto something. We can all benefit from this type of thinking if only varied by degree a bit.

The two words “oh well” are some of the most powerful when used together. In essence what you say with them is that you prefer something higher. Remember when you were a kid and someone took your new bike to be a bully. If you cried about it they laughed and had a blast. You might get it back eventually but only with your ego badly bruised and everybody on the street labeling you as a major wimp. On the other hand, if you used the words “oh well,” you might have found as I did that the bully’s psychology changed. Now, he wanted to know WHY you weren’t affected. You took away his power. It’s the same now as adults only the bully is in our own minds and we victimize ourselves with stress. Saying “Oh well” can get us through a world of trouble and come out the other side shining.

Have you ever lost your keys? I have gone literally insane looking for them. I have thrown couches over I have done terrible things to unsuspecting items on my counter space … I am not proud of these things. Recently my wife lost hers and after much of that, we decided to table the worry and take my car. The end result was an amazing conclusion that restored the keys and our sanity. These things couldn’t have happened until we let go and said “oh well.”

So there is my suggestion to you. I know it isn’t too complicated but I offer it anyway. Did you expect the Mayo Clinc summary of the matter? Come here, I want to tell you a quick secret: it’s just a blog.

“when you accept everything for what it is without labels you are outside of your ego”
-Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

To me this is such an excellent thought. I’d say about 70-80% of ALL our anxiety is borne out of imagined conclusions. We could turn that imagination into creative thoughts to make our lives better. Did you know that most inventions I read about when I write my for biographical series “Amazing Visions” came about as a result of a person trying to make his/her life better? In some cases I’ve been reading about lately for celebrities, it can make the difference between contentment and adrug treatment center.

This house is ours. We move into it tomorrow. My mind would never have grasped we could own a house like this with a pool. It is a result of possibility thinking on the part of my wife and I and steady work toward a goal. This is my first home and I will be 39 years old next month. Those impossible dreams should turn into visions for all of us.

Do you know an example of a visionary? Maybe a famous person? Maybe your uncle Bill? Maybe you? You might want to blow us away and write about them for my Amazing Visions Writing Contest. It’s gonna be huge. Here’s a thought for today:

Let what is … BE. Down the road ahead, the only limitation is in your mind

It’s been said that life is a series of lines you wait in until the end and even there you have the funeral procession. I guess you lead that line … anyway, I think the notion is true. We wait to get into kindergarten then middle school, high school, college, marriage, parenthood, middle age, old age, and finally death. Ah, but if it were only that easy. We have letters to learn, forms to fill out, blood tests to take, and a mammoth mountain of other requirements to fulfill before each line shows us to the front.

My title says: “whistle” while you wait, but I know it’s not that easy. Besides whistling, which connotes a “devil-may-care” attitude, you can do things to make the line faster and more pleasant. What are you waiting for today? Instead of waiting, which brings anxiety, do something and you’ll be so glad you did it when your number comes.

As you know, we here at the funny farm house are waiting to buy our new home about a block away. It seems like the miracle mile. We have been so stressed about where to get the closing costs. While I have been “waiting,” I have liquidated my TSA account, applied for grants and other sources and done all I can every day (as has my wife). This is proactive waiting. Knowing I have done all I can in the waiting process helps me sleep better when I hit the good old mattress.

You can whistle without guilt while you wait proactively. The good news is, all the necessary funds have come our way and we have the funds to close. Now, as we see the front of the line approaching, we’re all whistling happy tunes. And aren’t we glad that we don’t have to be waiting in line (like so many are nowadays) for foreclosure help.

What can you do while you wait?

Damien and Sarah are out buying and moving into a new house and I’ve been honored with a request to guest blog here at Postcards From The Funny Farm.

While Damien is so inspirational and thought provoking, I am so…RANTastic. I’ve tried to find a delicate balance between the two with my thoughts on the differences between houses and homes for my guest post.

What is a house? A house is just a never large enough building with a roof that hopefully doesn’t leak when it rains. There will be some doors that let you walk in and out to go to work every day so you can afford the mortgage payment, property taxes, insurance and everything inside the house that will break the minute you sign the closing papers.

Of course, the house doesn’t come with anything so you will also need a second mortgage and a part-time job to decorate and fill it with beautiful furniture so the kids have a place to spill their grape kool-aid.

It’s true.

So why would anyone want to buy one of these? They wouldn’t. No one wants to buy a house. People want to buy a home.

A home is very different than a house. It’s the place you can kick off your shoes and relax in your favorite comfy chair. It’s the place where your kids, spouse and dogs come running to the door to greet you. It’s where you live, you love and laugh.

Home is where you bring home new babies in baskets and then gradually turn into a basket case when it’s time to let them go. It’s the place where every little stain and hand print has a story that only the people who live there can tell. It’s the place where dinner, poster board homework projects and most importantly, memories are made.

A house is the location listed on a property deed. A home is where your heart is and where you belong.

And like my friend Dorothy says, there’s just no place like it.

Damien and Sarah,

May your walls be filled with laughter,
may it reach from floor to rafter.
May the roof keep out the rain,
may sunshine warm each windowpane.
And may the door be open wide
to let the Good Lord’s love inside.

Congratulations on your new home!

P. S. When the furnace starts making a terrible noise, I know a guy :)