Postcards from the Funny Farm

My wife invited me up as she was painting our son’s room. She’s sort of “owned” it as her task and art project and up to now she hadn’t invited me into the mall of plastic, masking tape, and drop cloths that is Brandon’s room.

As I saw her virtually collapsed under the window, I asked her what I could do to help finish the job. I could tell she was feeling overwhelmed so I started showing her how it would be easy for me to finish the last wall. It needed tape on the base and the top and it needed primering and then a couple coats of paint on top of that. At the time I had just received a $30 writing offer which for me is huge. I’ve been trying lately to get blog jobs that pay, but here my wife was virtually collapsed. I decided I’d be quite the selfish idiot if I put this job off.

I sent my wife downstairs with the order of getting some food. It was after noon and she was a little shaky from not having eaten yet. After she left I learned a great lesson. I looked at all the stuff that needed to be done and decided instead of trying to do it all, I would select a small part and do it perfectly. Then I did that. After that, I picked another one and so on. Within an hour, I finished the room. When my wife came up to check on me with a piece of toast in her hand, she was astonished at all I had accomplished.

She went out to the jacuzzi with our one and three year old, and I went downstairs where I was able to finish that big writing job. Victory! Lesson learned?

When painting, or life, gets overwhelming, map out chunks at a time to finish. Don’t get overwhelmed. Before you know it, you’ll be victorious.

Before I start this post I just want to give a link to a couple people who have asked me what makes up blog value these days in my opinion. I’ve actually written a series on it you can find here. Okay, now for the post …

I remember a few years ago hearing the son of the criminally insane Jim Jones discussing the mass suicides at Jonestown. The son had been away when it took place and after he returned, he learned the title of this post was the truth for him. Every family member and friend was killed and he had to call in to report the tragedy. His life changed after that with what would be a continuous string of experiences where he learned just how wrong he had been for so long. He chose to have an open mind, lucky for him.

Today teaching eighteen 8th graders I had an experience that opened my mind way up. Let me share it with you. I was explaining to the open-minded young adults about the word “pattern” with regards to sentences. I used an example from my youth (I like doing that and it often helps the lesson go better). I told them about my grandpa’s (now passed) cabinets that held his trash cans. They looked sort of like this table:

As a child I read it up and down probably because I was short then: “Keep stash, America your, beautiful trash.” That’s what my brother and I always though it was. Well, you can imagine my shock and sort of glee to find out I had been reading it wrong for decades! The student pointed out that if you read left to right is says: “Keep America beautiful, stash your trash.” Wow. I was humbled.

Another tip in keeping an open mind is that you probably think many things are true that are not. Strive to see things the way others see them and you will have a more open mind as a result. And last, remember this question from the title:

What if all You “Knew” was Wrong?

Embrace that thought and be less ordinary.

I’ve been in a situation recently where my physical body/animal brain was moving me to retaliate against someone who offended me (actually a couple people) and at the same time my intellect was telling me to relent, or hold off until I’d calmed down. I won’t get into specifics because that’s not my point here. I’ll tell you I did relent and I am so glad.

Once I calmed down and reassessed the situation, I realized that while my feelings were 100% valid, they were not a good determiner of action. In fact, if my feelings had determined my actions in the professional environment, in this case I could have severed (possibly permanently) networks with key people likely to be in my circle until I retire. When the hot cools down from work days like that, you have some amazing realizations reclining at home or jumping on your trampoline. You have no idea what they will be in the heat of the moment.

So what did I learn from this and why am I sharing? Well, as I have said over and over, I write about psychology and inspiration here in order to better your life. It isn’t therapy for me. If it were you’d read a lot of bad words etc. I am thinking and analyzing my life all the time for good lessons to share with you. I hope these lessons advance you in your journey. That is why I blog on psychology and inspiration. In this post, my lesson is simple: In the professional environment, let facts not feelings determine your actions.

When you feel upset, insulted, or angry, these are usually products of a bruised ego and not the real you (as Eckhart calls the “being”). Relenting when you feel badly can help you recover your sense of being and throw off your ego. So, here are the three things I did when I was offended/mistreated recently at work. Translated into your life, I hope they help you save yourself some grief and advance like I did:

1. Get the facts written down.
2. Write down a note (official in wording) to the offending party(ies) stating the wrong done to you and DONT SEND IT. Put it in your wallet folded tightly closed.
3. Forget about it and go about your day.
4. Later in the evening, pull out the letter. You may be ashamed you wrote it, but keep it for 3 days. If the issue does come up, you will be upset and you can take the note out for the facts that emotion may cause you to forget.

That’s it! As I have said (to the rhythm of something Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled,

I’m no expert on psychology but I have read more on psychology than some psychology experts :)

Now you’ve read some of that yourself, succinctly put in a blog post. At work, be a real man (or woman) and act on facts, not on feelings. Do what you have to do to stay cool. Another thing I do, and I have written on the value of a music CD, is make and listen to a CD of the best tunes I know.

Quick after thought: WATCH OUT! Something is at risk with this kind of talk, and it’s your job! You will be better off to use this approach but remember you should never forget any wrong done to you against the law or your contract. Write it down! All I am saying to do is to deal with it later.

When I was in high school, I ran track and field. My coach would always tell us that runners with commitment were more important than those with talent. For example, I recall one runner who for four years constantly took first place. He was valuable, but he was a flake and his senior year he started doing drugs and the coaches decided they were really disillusioned with the guy. It’s a shame when talent gets sacrificed at the altar of laziness.

I can relate with the idea of talent with laziness, that’s something I try to avoid. I had talent on the guitar at an early age. My dad was a teacher so he taught me all he knew and some other men in my family played and they showed me what they knew as well. By the time I was in 4th grade I was singing Kenny Rogers’ “Coward of the County” for the fourth grade talent show. It was a fun childhood holding a guitar and I got a lot of attention, but I look back often wishing I would have been more serious about my lessons. I quit them earlier and was self taught ever since. This applies to many aspects of my life and yours. There may have been something in your life that you took for granted like I did guitar. Like the tortoise and the hare, slow and steady wins the race -or- committment takes it all.

I’ve seen amazing talent in the keeping life simple. It’s a good idea to try just one thing at a time. Make that your commitment. making money online. Your enjoyment can enhance the art/product/whatever it is.

As I get closer to my 40’s I see the wisdom of my high school coach. The great people I have known throughout my life have always been striving and creating the next thing. They never rest on their haunches, like Walt Disney said they always “keep moving forward.”

There is nothing worse than a talent gone complacent like old rotten teak furniture. Are you parked in some area of your life? Break away from your comfort zone and keep moving forward. Go the extra mile … life is short. The result of your reaching out of the comfort zone will be: innovation and creativity like you never imagined.

I have learned this lesson once again, that most of life’s bummers work themselves out in 24 hours or less. Therefore I have come to this conclusion: I will put worries on the back burner for 24 hours before I start to stress and worry about them. Let me explain:

Yesterday my wife was supposed to receive her first paycheck for substitute teaching. It was to be a substantial amount (by our standards) and we were depending on it to pay some bills that remained after the first as well as for food and misc. expenses the rest of the month. To make a long story short they told her the time card was never turned in and the person responsible was at a conference for three days. This did not make us happy. We left messages for a few people and then began to scowl in our reality that we wouldn’t be paid until the following month. It was definitely a “bummer” evening in our house yesterday.

But what a difference a day can make!

Today, my wife received a call apologizing for the glitch in the system and the District cut her a check right there on the spot. The end result? We got our money and everything was as it was before “the dark times.”

The reason I am sharing this is not to say we should never stress over things. If we hadn’t stressed a little, we wouldn’t have contacted anyone to get it resolved. What I am saying is that problems have a way of working themselves out on their own so you’d do well to put a time limit on these issues before you get bothered about them. 24 hours is a nice numbers, it gives the people involved a chance to sleep and theworkday to roll over once. The next time I have an issue like this, I will try it and report back to you the results!

What do you think of the 24 hour rule?

Do you know that Simon and Garfunkel tune? You know the one where they say … “Feelin’ Groovy!” That came into my head as I was thinking about what to blog on today. Another psychology topic, that makes two in a row. This one is more specifically about what I call the “Psychology of Perception.”  I have been interested in in psychology for almost two decades now. All throughout my 20’s (the 1990’s) I read books by authors such as M. Scott Peck, Rollo May, Leo Buscgalia, Richard Carlson, and a host of others. I ended up specializing in education but my personal reading interests have always lied in psych. I’m not ashamed to say as well that I have paid for counseling on more than one occasion. It has benefited me greatly and I truly admire all walks of mental health therapists. They have a tough job and if they do it right, they can transform a person’s life for the better.  I think if we’re honest with ourselves, we are all a little kooky, hence the title of this blog.

Today I’m reminded of that song aforementioned. I don’t want to feel stressed about life … that just isn’t me. When I am stressed, I become something different … someone different. Maybe not altogether, but people approach me and say: “Are you okay? Are you sick?” I have one of those demeanors that is inescapably transparent and people around me, including my wife, tell me they can tell when I am stressed or not myself. For example, the other day my wife told me I looked younger because I had shaved very close but when she glanced down further at my neck, she noticed there was still some stubble there. eek. I hate it when I am in a rush and miss that. Ever happen to you? Anyway, she told me I look “older” when I miss that area. It’s like a 5 o’clock shadow at 8am. Well, as I have been saying, do you know why I missed that? Because I was stressed!

I need to feel groovy but how do I get there? Well … I can plan my day based on things I am passionate about. As a teacher I know how to do this. You tie in the lessons to examples that you are interested in and it makes for a much more effective lesson. Yes, it takes more creativity, wit, and candor than just following the rote textbook, but it pays off for your attitud3e and for their achievement results. In other lines of work, or for housewives, you’ll have to plug in your own connection here though I could think of some.

Kicking up the cobblestones of your life and feeling groovy is the way top a great day and that great day multiplies and translates into a great month and then a great year. Try and get a hold of that song if you can. Listen to it and make it your mantra today. Remember the psychology of looking at things from another angle. Don’t fixate on the angle that brings you down. There are always more than one way to perceive a situation.

I’ve written about many of my heroes here at the Funny Farm but none of them are quite as special to me as Dr. Seuss. Maybe it’s because he is a proponent of reading or maybe it’s because he is wacked out of his mind (like he’s from the funny farm here with us). Whatever the reason, I get inspired by Dr. Seuss and inspiration is the most valuable thing when you’re setting a goal for greatness. You are doing that aren’t you? Check out his life:

When Theodor Geisel was a young child, long before he would become Dr. Seuss, he used to mark in books. He had a set of books he had made his own by putting drawings and writings in. This should have been a clear indicator to his parents that one day his books would change the world. I am sure in their wildest dreams they never would have imagined what this young boy would one day do. Letting his imagination run wild was the first thing he did to set his dream in motion. These pictures made him happy. Following what made him happy would eventually make millions happy.

When Theodore got older and graduated college, he decided he wanted to write children’s books. He spent a lot of time and energy making his first book, an ABC book. No one published it. He felt rejected. He did not write another book for four years. This is identical to the experience of another great artist I have writ.... Neither gave up altogether though. Both rose to great acceptance after a major rejection. I think this is very important for us to note. Have you been rejected at something? How many years will you let pass you by before trying again. While we’re at it, can you imagine how cool it would be to have a copy of that ABC book that got rejected? Something to remember when people reject your work.

In 1936, Dr. Seuss was on a boat to Tudor. He heard the engines “talking to him” in the sounds they made. Standing there at the engine he “heard” the idea for another book attempt. This is probably one of the most quirky stories I have ever heard. That’s why I love it so much. I am like that. I hear my car creak and talk to me, I hear lots of strange sources of inspiration every day. I am also quirky. Are you? Don’t look at it as a bad thing. Being from the “funny farm” so-to-speak is a good thing. Just ask Dr. Seuss.

The quirky book that was borne out of the engine sounds was And to Think That I Saw it on Mulberry Street. Now 50 years later it is one of Dr. Seuss’ most favorited book by children all over the world. After that is time in a blender history. Dr. Seuss has published hundreds of books since then, as you likely already know.

Theodor Geisel had a goal: he wanted to write books that were easy to read. As he worked for that goal he brought millions of people happiness and taught millions to read: including me as a young child!

Currently set for release is Horton Hears a Who. A major motion picture created from another Dr. Seuss masterpiece. When millions watch it they will be seeing a product of a quirky writer who had a vision and kept at it. The message of this book is that even the smallest person can make a difference. What a message!!! We all wish he could have given us more. He is a lesson to me to never stop giving. No matter who tells you you aren’t good enough or smart enough or _____ enough, just remember Dr, Seuss and how the Funny Farm, or our quirky thoughts, can become the bank and do a lot of good on earth as well. March 6th is Dr. Seuss’ birthday. Read one of his books and start making your crazy dream happen!

Has the life of Dr. Seuss affected you?

There’s a lesson for business and communication in this sign.  The Cocky Bull is on a highway for truckers and travelers.  Therefore they cater to that in their slogan.  Can you imagine if they were catering to surfers? Miners?  I think you get the idea.  We need to reach out to the people in our sphere of influence, whether they are our “choice” or not.  I think this is especially true in writing to a blog or website audience.  Get to know who visits your blog and write to them.

I started teaching at age 27. Though I thought I was old then, I look back now and see that I was most assuredly still a very young adult. Back then I was very much a self-starter. After subbing in a district for 3 months I managed to get hired on a year’s teaching contract with NO credential based purely on my wit and candor and my ability to speak Spanish and English. In California, this is called an “emergency credential” and it’s rarely done nowadays . . . for good reason. I had absolutely no classroom management skills, apart from being a sub which is vastly different from being the only grown-up in charge of 36 ten year olds for 185 days. Those first 3 years were very tough, but I got by on the inspiration of my twenties. It seems like my thirties have required more strategy than instinct to find success.

Now, 10 years later with a full credential and a Master’s degree, I still often find myself at a loss for inspiration. I never give up though. On those days that I am discouraged and unmotivated, I try and get away from the daily routine. I put aside the lessons I had planned (as much as is possible to stay within my responsibilities) and I focus on the things that I truly enjoy: guitar, art, poetry, reading, songwriting, nature, etc. Then I tap into that wonder I have for those things and bridge it to the material I have to teach. For example: if I have to teach reading data on a graph, I make a graph about the different guitars there are.

I adapt my lessons that day to whatever is really giving me personal inspiration at that moment. All people (even small ones) are attracted to a leader or performer who is passionate about what he is doing. Kids want to emulate that energy. I remember going to see REM in concert in my 20’s and being so drawn in to what singer Michael Stipe was doing onstage. I didn’t understand the wierd symbols on the screen or the strange movements he made, like hitting a metal chair with a wooden rod on the off-beats on “World Leader Pretend,” but I tapped into his passion and energy for what he was doing, and when they left the stage I screamed for an encore. It was like a moth to a lightbulb, the lightbulb was passion. The world is so full of boring people. It’s important for leaders, teachers, writers, performers, and artists to share an influence that is NOT boring with this starved-for-passion world.

Discouragement that saps inspiration is the teacher’s biggest enemy. By tapping into and bridging my passions with my students, I am able to get through those tough days when I have to methodically put one foot in front of the other and keep remembering that I got into the profession to make a difference. With a brief look inward, it works every time. Group Project: Source Of Inspiration » Inspiratio...