Postcards from the Funny Farm

Today’s concept: “Why we fear aging.”  I suppose a better title would be “Why DO we fear aging”  but I really don’t know.  In many ways, aging is a thrill.  I had a kid tell me today he found a synonym for “journey,” it was the expedition.  I was really proud of that student for noticing that in his reading.  Some might say you start out at the top of the cat pole and end up in the litter box.  I have to question that.  Aging is like a journey, but even more like a expedition, I think.

The other day a little scrappy kid whose brother I had last year in my class yelled across the playground at me: “What’s up Mr. Riley.”  I always feel so “hip” when they do that :)  What he said next though wasn’t so “hip,”

“You got old Mr. Riley.”

Now at first, I felt sad about this appraisal of my appearance.  Then, as any responsible parent or teacher would, I tried to understand why he would say that.  I came up empty … I do look older this year!  Even though I shave my head and have since I was about 26, the sides are getting quite gray.  My goatee is enjoying the same salt and peppering.  Usually when I look in the mirror I say: “You get better looking each day.”  but alas, I work with truth megaphones aka ;) little kids.

I think we fear getting old because we feel we won’t get what we want out of life.  We may fear that others will not like us as much and therefore we won’t be as successful.  When I think about it though, most the successful folks I know who are getting what they want out of life are over 50.  I haven’t even turned 40 yet.

I told my wife about the incident and she just laughed at me.  Maybe you out there can give me a pity party ;)

How are you doing on your aging expedition?

I wanted to blog on psychology tonight. It’s been a weird couple of days as I’ve been suffering a bad cough and visiting with my parents and extended family. Every time I hang out with my parents I remember certain stories of my life growing up. The “wear pants” one is a classic and definitely blogworthy. This story will probably give you some insight as to why my blog’s title has the funny farm in it. No, I’m just kidding. My parents were and are the best. But sometimes they were quite direct with me. Too direct? You be the judge.

Around age 11 I was really into surf shorts. At that time, about 1981, Stubbies and OP shorts were all the rage. They were quite expensive but my parents were able to buy some for me. I’ll never forget how “stoked” I was to get those! Well, stoked that is until one day when something happened …

A girl I thought was cute told me on the playground one day: “You have knobby knees.” eek. I was crushed. When I got home that night I whined to my mom about what she said and played the pity party violin for a good long session. When I was done my mom simply said:

Wear pants.

How could she! How unfeeling! Shouldn’t she apologize about my DNA? These are the sorts of thoughts that ran through my mind. But I’ve grown to appreciate her advice in grown up life.

When I’m tempted to whine about things or whimper or murmur, etc., I tell myself “Wear pants.” It’s a short phrase and it has tons of meaning for me. If I get worried or upset or other negative emotion about something, I can summon this phrase. The truth is, my legs weren’t knobby forever. Like then, most troubles are fleeting. As the saying goes: “This too shall pass.” So, how about this as a slightly altered “Funny Farm” phrase coined here officially tonight: “This too shall wear pants.” ;)

Do you have a memory you’ve made into a phrase?