Postcards from the Funny Farm

When we go to the doctor or hire a lawyer or take a college course, we expect the people we encounter to be professionals.  As such, we assume they don’t have any mental illnesses … that is, many people assume that.  The truth is that many people in the professional world are doing their jobs while living with mental illnesses.  Bipolar is one of them.  In Kay Redfield Jamison’s book “An Unquiet Mind” she gives an anecdote where she reveals her bipolar illness to her boss at Johns Hopkins University.  He sort of blows it off and then tells her that if they got rid of every person with bipolar in the department it would leave them high and dry.  In other words, he assured her it was okay. He let her know he trusted her.

Ultimately, that should be the goal of any person at work, with family, wherever with people: to earn trust.

Many people do not know that famous song and screenwriters are bipolar.  They never hear about it because they live responsibly with their disorder.  Beyond that, we might assume they create such amazing art because of their disorder, not in spite of it.  I guess it’s a circular question.  People in society need more awareness of mentall illness in the professionals among us and less fear of what’s going on “over there.”

For bipolars, Lithium is a lifetime medication to be used daily just like toothpaste or acne cream. The difference is, you can’t miss this one. If you ask a psychiatrist how it works to quell mania, she/he will not be able to tell you exactly. They will, however, tell you that it works. We have gotten far enough along in science to know it isn’t the fault of a full moon.

There are assumptions about kindling in the brain and somehow the salt called Lithium in blood concentrations of .8 to .12 equalize that, but nothing truly measurable exists to explain what Lithium does. The bummer is that if a patient gets more than the .12 concentration it becomes toxic to the liver and kidneys. For this reason, bipolars have to get their blood taken regularly to measure the level. At the same time, if the lithium level is below .8, it is not even therapeutic.

There is a very interesting account on the history of Lithium here.

Some bipolars have to take as many as 16 capsules a day to achieve the right level. Others have to take less depending on their metabolism. Bipolars must be responsible. How many people in their 30’s to 50’s go regularly to a psychiatrist on a monthly basis? Bipolars do and I think that shows a lot of responsibility. Of course, some are in denial and try to avoid therapy. Bipolar has been called “the disease that sleeps.” Those people will have a manic episode eventually and it can destroy jobs, marriages, relationships, everhything. Bipolars that are silent about it and professionals know this risk and work hard to see that they make it to 80 years with luck managing this ferocious sleeping giant.

Bipolar is a serious illness as I have laid out in this series.  But just because it is serious doesn’t mean it can’t be managed.  Let me make something very clear though: it cannot and will not manage itself.  It is an aggressive disorder thate gets worse through a lifetime.  With medication and psychotherapy though, it can be managed.  Bipolars have made enormous contributions to art and science.  It is correct to fear the disorder but incorrect to judge those who have it.  In many cases they are more equipped to handle the world than non-bipolars because they have to watch and learn about their brains every day.  That might be a good endeavor for us all.

Before discussing the abstract art that we call bipolar, we have to look at diagnosis and what is required.  It seems like more and more news stories about rapists, murderers, garden variety psychopaths, and the like contain a tag at the end of something like:

“This story is truly a tragedy, such and such was being treated for bipolar before they went bad.”

You must have a heart for the bipolars out there who are living productive, often high-level professional albeit silent lives.  They are still dealing with the unbearable highs and lows (which we will discuss in a later post) and they also have to maintain in such a way as to never let anyone expect they have the specter.  After all, the evening news is no friend to bipolars.  They extend the stigma along with ill-informed people, the media, and Hollywood.  It puts an albatross around the neck of anyone who finds out they might have it. Many bipolars say it makes them want to search for the best flight deals out of town.

Even bloggers can spread false stigma about bipolar.  I remember reading one guy’s blog (I won’t link or mention it).  He would write everyday how the walls were breathing and making him angry and other outlandish truly psychotic things.  He would justify it by saying he was bipolar.  I wrote him a note saying his symptoms seemed more schizophrenic than and he said he had read a book and diagnosed himself as bipolar without ever seeing a psychiatrist.  Ah, the downside of the internet.

The number one enemy of people with bipolar is people who self-diagnose themselves as bipolar.

To be clinically diagnosed bipolar, according to the DSM, several quite explicit and profound symptoms must be present over time.  I read one doctor that said true diagnosis can take about 10 years.

The reason this is important is because we all have moods.  Just because someone has mood swings does NOT make her/him bipolar.  Often irresponsible people tell everyone they are bipolar before getting a medical diagnosis.  They do this for mixed reasons.  Bipolar unfortunately has become a “catch all” for people with issues.

Even if a responsible person feels moments of extreme highs and lows and goes to the doctor to get diagnosed, the doctor may be wrong.  Bipolars have to sort through feelings, facts, and the data day to day.  They have to become experts on their disorder because even the doctors can’t know for sure until time has passed and behavior observed.

Do you know someone who claims to be bipolar?  Have you seen a movie or news show that equated moodiness with bipolar?  Remember diagnosis is the key. If they aren’t seeing a psychiatrist regularly (either in real life or on the show) it is likely they are not truly the texbook bipolar.  Rather, they are part of a stereotype.  There is a lot more than mood to bipolar as you will learn in this series. Take this list linked below for example. It is famous people who have been clinically diagnosed as having bipolar.  Recognize any of them?

Remember seeing any of them frothing at the mouth or filmed in a straight-jacket?  Hardly.  Most of them are/were world changers and that’s one thing science can associate with bipolars.  I’ll bet you never heard that in the media!  Consider the silent bipolars when you hear and see the loud ones on your television screen.  Based on what I have researched and experienced regarding bipolar, I think society needs a real paradigm shift toward the truth about it.

Wiki partial list of Famous people with Bipolar

You may know the title is a John Lennon tune. I think getting through the night is sometimes easier said than done when you are down.  For babies, sometimes all you need to do is change the crib bedding, for grownups, it’s not always so easy.  There is a reason companies offer a plethora of choices for crib bedding that range as far across the comfort spectrum as blue jeans for grownups.  They want the babies to sleep, so they hook them up with comfortable stuff.

Everybody gets the blues sometimes. For some of us, it hits harder than others. I have an online friend who writes fluid prose with imagery about her travels through depression. When I read them it reminds me of those scenes in “What Dreams May Come” when the woman is in the broken up house and she can’t get out. Another online friend I know is going through some really tough times and has posted on her blog that it is so difficult to be inspired, she’s having trouble blogging. There is a lot of depression in the world, don’t be in denial if you get it too.

In this post, I offer you something that works for me. When I get scared, sad, or depressed my family and work potentially suffers. I want to crawl into a ball, put my favorite CD on and just shut everyone out until things get better. Unfortunately as an adult husband, professional, and father of 3, this isn’t always an option. Because of who I am and aim to be, I have to get through. Maybe you experience feelings such as these and would like a suggestion for help. When I have these feelings, one thing I try is to imagine I only have a limited amount of time to live.

For example, in the past I once received a note from a boss telling me she/he needed to meet with me immediately. This was on a Friday and I had no idea why the meeting was called. That was a 48 hour wait so as part of my therapy and keeping my spirits up, I imagined Monday was my last day on Earth. The result was, I hugged my kids all weekend and didn’t worry at all about the silly meeting. When the meeting did happen, it was about a silly rumor and my boss just wanted to let me know the real story … can you imagine the waste if I would have worried about it all weekend?

This may or may not work for you, but I have found it helpful. Do you have any tricks to get you through the night?

I’ve been in a situation recently where my physical body/animal brain was moving me to retaliate against someone who offended me (actually a couple people) and at the same time my intellect was telling me to relent, or hold off until I’d calmed down. I won’t get into specifics because that’s not my point here. I’ll tell you I did relent and I am so glad.

Once I calmed down and reassessed the situation, I realized that while my feelings were 100% valid, they were not a good determiner of action. In fact, if my feelings had determined my actions in the professional environment, in this case I could have severed (possibly permanently) networks with key people likely to be in my circle until I retire. When the hot cools down from work days like that, you have some amazing realizations reclining at home or jumping on your trampoline. You have no idea what they will be in the heat of the moment.

So what did I learn from this and why am I sharing? Well, as I have said over and over, I write about psychology and inspiration here in order to better your life. It isn’t therapy for me. If it were you’d read a lot of bad words etc. I am thinking and analyzing my life all the time for good lessons to share with you. I hope these lessons advance you in your journey. That is why I blog on psychology and inspiration. In this post, my lesson is simple: In the professional environment, let facts not feelings determine your actions.

When you feel upset, insulted, or angry, these are usually products of a bruised ego and not the real you (as Eckhart calls the “being”). Relenting when you feel badly can help you recover your sense of being and throw off your ego. So, here are the three things I did when I was offended/mistreated recently at work. Translated into your life, I hope they help you save yourself some grief and advance like I did:

1. Get the facts written down.
2. Write down a note (official in wording) to the offending party(ies) stating the wrong done to you and DONT SEND IT. Put it in your wallet folded tightly closed.
3. Forget about it and go about your day.
4. Later in the evening, pull out the letter. You may be ashamed you wrote it, but keep it for 3 days. If the issue does come up, you will be upset and you can take the note out for the facts that emotion may cause you to forget.

That’s it! As I have said (to the rhythm of something Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled,

I’m no expert on psychology but I have read more on psychology than some psychology experts :)

Now you’ve read some of that yourself, succinctly put in a blog post. At work, be a real man (or woman) and act on facts, not on feelings. Do what you have to do to stay cool. Another thing I do, and I have written on the value of a music CD, is make and listen to a CD of the best tunes I know.

Quick after thought: WATCH OUT! Something is at risk with this kind of talk, and it’s your job! You will be better off to use this approach but remember you should never forget any wrong done to you against the law or your contract. Write it down! All I am saying to do is to deal with it later.

Thanks to Joanna at Confident Writing for offering this group writing project to her readers. I’ve been in love with writing from an early age and it is exciting to share about that on my blog. From making money publishing things to writing a random blog article describing how light and shadows fall, I have too many writing memories to share in one post. Having said that, here are two childhood accounts I’ve selected that started my love affair with writing.

I was an early reader of Dr. Seuss books such as: Hop on Pop, One Fish Two Fish … etc. At age 3 or 4 I was reciting each page to my mother and father as they read with me. In retrospect, I was probably just memorizing what they said and saying it back. But I got a lot of attention from that and that is why I think I continued to read so much as a young kid. Parents would do well to make a note of that. My first memory of getting recognized for writing was in fourth grade. Mrs. Van Diemen (pronounced Van demen) pulled me aside one day and asked me about a paper I had written. This was one of those papers where you use a vocabulary list to insert words that are new to you. I would look them up and then build a story with the new and mysterious words I had just learned. I don’t remember much about it but I do recall it was about a trip to my grandparents’ house for Thanksgiving. I remember one sentence used two vocabulary words: “tranquil” and “serene.” Anyway, she was very impressed with it and she was the school’s “GATE” coordinator (Gifted and Talented Education). She recommended me then and there for GATE and I remained a GATE student throughout my K-12 education. I didn’t always live up to the branding, but I was labeled just the same.

My next memory of writing was for when I wrote a short story that was published for the Orange County Fair competition. I was a few years older and the writing this time was a short story based loosely on the Wind in the Willows. They apparently saw no connection and crowned me for a weekend. I had a picture and story on me in the paper and I got free tickets to ride the rides.

Between then and now writing has been my constant companion and friend. I contribute to my blog daily and online publications monthly and I have had one teaching story published in a book (that was a real thrill). These are not lofty accomplishments by most professional writers’ standards I know, but to me they represent a love affair that is still alive.

I know there are many people nowadays that want to become rich and famous through blogs or other writing endeavors. They meet in back dining rooms of Denny’s and share their writing with groups that critique and supposedly “help” one another other get published. To those I would clarify that even though payment is nice:

if compensation were the main reason I chose to write, I wouldn’t be doing it at all. To me the best payment is the therapy it provides along with positive feedback. Writing and being read makes me feel “seen” and “heard.” Writing in my blog every day is like sitting with a good friend on a country front porch talking about the way the light and shadow falls on things. And even just that is interesting enough to both of us.

Have you ever had to ask for one of these on your own behalf? It’s a real drag for me because I hate to ask for someone to take time out of their busy day and write a letter for me that will do nothing for them whatsoever. I’m more into reciprocal favors, that way both sides benefit. I’ve probably had to ask a dozen or so people in my career to write me these letters and it’s always been uncomfortable. But today, I am starting to think maybe it was just me feeling uncomfortable.

An aide here at work asked me for one and even though I was quite busy, I enjoyed writing it for her. She’s a very hard working sub and aide and it made me happy to help her get into the workforce in a new job she is looking for. I suppose I am now the experienced one in the field being asked to do the writing and I can tell you, I don’t mind it at all!

I’ve written on this blog before about how asking for help can really further your career, and maybe now I am closer to accepting my own advice. There are some things I have learned that I must relearn and relearn again. For me, asking for something like a letter of recommendation is one of those really hard things to do: I know it’s my right and privilege to do, but I still hate doing it.

How do you feel about asking for letters of recommendation?

I wanted to let the blog know that I had my observation and post-conference today. It went very well. I received a passing score in all domains and some very nice things were said about me in the write-up.Okay I can breathe now.

I’m not one to hide fear, I think it helps the world to show your weakness. It helps people more than pretending you are always 100% confident.

You may recall I published an article on BlogCritics this month about the whole process I was going through:

My article on BlogCritics on how to survive and th...

(esp. note my response to the first comment about inequity in some evaluation pr... for teachers … Amidst my optimism it’s important to note my view on that.)

-Damien

I’ve written several articles in a series on things I’ve learned about blogging but not enough about optimization. Blogs and websites make up such a giant piece of our modern commerce today that it really is no longer an option for the webmaster/blogger to ignore this issue. There is simply too much money to be made!

All decent websites and blogs are the same in that they they hold content. After that one thing in common however, they they are not all the same: some are visited often and some are not. Which one sounds like yours? The reason is no accident. Sites that have been optimized pull readers in consistently and earn dollars and those that have not been optimized don’t.

As an avid blogger and webmaster, I’ve done lots of homework of how to optimize my sites through proper categories, keywords, and tags. I’ve seen amazing results as well. It is very exciting when more website traffic comes as a result of hard and tedious work.

Still, I hunger for more traffic, readers, and through that more income for my blog that I seem to have “hit a wall” using my own efforts. I recognize that hiring a professional to bring more website traffic would be an exciting idea. After looking around a bit, I found this amazing company called: Think Big. The results show a proven track record of increasing traffic for their clients’ websites. There are many things I can do as a webmaster: Write relevant content, post exciting photos, make and tweak themes, code css, html, and php, but search engine optimization, I have learned, is truly best when left up to a professional such as Think Big.

We all want more traffic. Would you consider hiring a company to optimize your site?