Postcards from the Funny Farm

This post is dedicated to a friend going through a tough spot.

Paul McCartney said all those years ago that “My love does it good.”  He was right.  All the love he has put into music like Yesterday, the Long and Winding Road, and literally thousands of other hits could fill a stadium … as it often did and still does.  Think of how many humans he has inspired?

James Taylor sang about going to the Carolina Outer Banks “in my mind.” It’s impossible to tell how many people his song has enlightened.

To me, songs like these mean that self-love is important and we can use it to help people as well as ourselves.  Most of all, they say that if you don’t love yourself first, you can’t love anyone else.

Any one who says “he doesn’t love himself” is not only in need of love but is also possibly a grave threat to himself.

We should love ourselves.  I know this flies in the face of Christian culture that states we should humble ourselves and as Paul says at some point, “Beat our bodies for the cause of Christ” (paraphrased).  But it is a simple truth that nurtured and fostered love will have an impact on our family and world.

I’ve spoken with several people in preparing for this series and the data has been staggering.  I learned that most people will not say they love themselves. In fact, some will say “far from it.”  This is spite of the fact that they are wonderful gifted, attractive people.  Even more surprising was that I found more women did not love themselves.  How sad, how utterly sad that is to me.  Why is this so?

I learned at an early age from great parenting and through authors like Leo Buscgalia and Rollo May that we need to love ourselves and love others as a #1 priority.  I think much of my time spent in the church chipped away that that foundation of self-love and I found myself quite neurotic and self-loathing in my teens and early twenties.  As I left the church and came back several times, I learned there should be a balance: self-love and loving God.  In my eyes, God is self-love and the church is simply self-”repair”.  I don’t know about you, but I prefer love to repair.

Do you mediate?  Do you pray? Do you buy yourself your favorite ice cream cone and listen to a favorite song over and over?  I’ve been doing that for over a month with Coldplay’s “Viva la Via.”  Man, what a song.  These are just a few examples of how to love yourself.  You can buy yourself something or just spend time reading your favorite parts of a book, enjoying nature, or enjoying anything you feel a connection with.

I strongly feel that a lot of our problems in society whether they be with the family or the economy can be traced back to people who do not love themselves.

Remember in “A Christmas Carol” when Scrooge remembers his old girlfriend and the children he knew before in life? It all made him so happy, he jumped with glee and wanted to right all the wrongs he had done.  More than giving out money though, the best lesson that Dicken’s tale gives us is that a man or woman needs to find the love for themself. That will produce empathy for others and hence … giving.

Remember dads, moms, leaders in the world, and everyone else what Paul McCartney said: “Your love does it good.” Keep it tender, keep it fed, keep it warm and it will change the world.  In some upcoming posts I’ll be exploring “self-love” in more detail.  Perhaps your comments can help steer my inspiration.

A question for you: Do you love yourself?  If no … why not?

The times we are rejected are like forks in the road.  We may think the one road is best, but forces tell us we just can’t take it.  If you think of all the energy tied up in job interviews, dates when we are single, applying to schools, wanting babies, etc., it all becomes freed up for othet things once we are denied.  The only question that hangs in the ait after rejection is this: “Now what?”  What a great place to be.  You won’t be spending anymore energy on “road one” and you van let your imagination run wild about how “road two” will be.  Some of the greatest people in the world experienced rejection.  For one reason or another, no one wanted to produce Disney’s first film idea.  Can you imagine the regret that person or interview panel had years later?  Think about the road less traveled.  Robert Frost declared “That has made all the difference.”

This is a time where a lot of people are out interviewing to get a new job and better support their families.  Good news, they still aren’t requiring DNA testing or anything exclusivist like that. You have a chance! In all that fussing around, remember that rejection is not the end.  If you see it like I have been talking about it, it is clearly a beginning.

Tell me about the interviews for jobs you never got.  How do you view rejection?

If you’ve been watching the olympics as I have lately, I know you’ve added respect for the athletes.  Yesterday I saw the diving and gymnastics and it was both entertaining and inspiring.  There are 5 key take-aways I get from the Olympics that make me better for watching! Even the kids are putting away their playstation 3 games and tuning in.

1. They are practiced.  The reason they step up to the diving board with confidence is because of this.  Things I can practice?  Lesson delivery, Spanish conversation … the list goes on.
2. They are genuinely excited to be there.  I wish more people in the world had that “arrival” sense of being where they are supposed to be.  I need to remember the first time I blogged and how I would have loved to know the things I know how.  In addition, my first day of teaching back in 1997.
3. They accept coaching.  The gymnastic coaches were right there with them and they seemed to work in perfect harmony.  Do you view coaching as something for the weak?  If so, work on that attitude.
4. They wish each other well before and after the game.  We all know this, but do we practice good sportsmanship?
5. -and finally- They seem themselves as role models from “afar.”  Any famous athlete has a public relations agent.  Olympians know kids are watching them and so they make decisions carefully about the image they portray.  We may not be olympians but many people are watching us in our “circle.”