Postcards from the Funny Farm

When Sarah and I went to the movies this week we were struck by how many cars were in the parking lot. “Ahhh it’s Spring Break.” I said to her. Kids are out in full force this week. Although I was the teacher of some of them, I wasn’t. I chose to teach “Spring School” for a week, which always has its agonies with ecstasies. I get paid 27 dollars an hour to teach hand-picked students whatever I and the Principal decide is worth the time. My class did test prep in English Language Arts and also a bit of mathematics. Traditionally the kids at my school do better on the Standardized math test than they do on the Language arts, so my minutes followed suit. I saw great growth even in just the four days. I had 13 students who came every day (I didn’t have even one absence which is a record for me!). It was very helpful I thought and I know the test scores will show the results of this agony, its not easy getting up for this when you know you could be on break.

Now for the ecstasy:

Since tomorrow is Good Friday and there are no classes then, Spring School has ended for the week! I am thrilled for the chance to play with my kids on the carpet and have a nice family Easter. We were supposed to drive down to my folks’ house but I am thinking that is going to be a little tough for us. Both the girls (9 mo. and 3 yrs) are coughing with runny noses and quite frankly: my wife and I are spent! Hopefully they will understand. We are looking forward then to a nice Easter at home, maybe an egg hunt in the backyard … sky’s the limit! I remember when I was a kid my parents used to put the Snack Pack puddings that came in little aluminum cans in my easter basket. Vanilla, chocolate, tapioca, butterscotch … those things were so good, and for breakfast nonetheless LOL.

What kind of work are you done with? Did you get pudding as a kid like I did?

Sarah and I went to the movies on a matinée date yesterday after Spring School let out. She’d been filling out birthday invitations in her head for our son and I figured we could both use the break and get out of the house. We saw a great new movie called Vantage Point. It has a very clever plot structure that, to my knowledge, the likes of which has never been done before. It also has an all star cast including Dennis Quaid and Forrest Whittaker. If you are interested in more details in reading my review, you can find it at the url below:

blogcritics.org/archives/2008/03/19/071043.php

My wife has been telling me for the longest time I need to drink less soda. She’s right, but I didn’t come to see that until I did a little research on the health effects of soda on the body. Remember this lovely ad I posted a few months ago as a joke? Well now that I’ve educated myself it’s funny for a different reason … irony.

You can read the many pages about this topic I bookmarked on de.licio.us, I couldn’t summarize everything here, but to put it all in a few words, here are my findings:

Many sodas, diet and sugared, contains needless “phosphorous.” In excess, this has been shown to cause side effects in people. There is nothing nutritional in sodas: caffeine, sugar, carbonation, phosphorous and other chemicals all serve to cloak a very acidic quality. In other words, you don’t know how sugary it is because of the acids and the acids are cloaked due to the excessive sugars. In short, you’re better off drinking water.

Another detractor I read about was the tooth decay caused by sodas. One article said it starts 8 hours after drinking a soda. Wow. Think about how many sodas you’ve drank through years. How are your teeth going to treat you when you’re older? Does this image tempt you as much now? But let’s chat a bit more …

I’ll leave you with a blockquote from the nutrition research center. Suffice it to say, I’m not drinking much soda any more.

When somebody drinks a Coke watch what happens…

• In The First 10 minutes: 10 teaspoons of sugar hit your system. (100% of your recommended daily intake.) You don’t immediately vomit from the overwhelming sweetness because phosphoric acid cuts the flavor allowing you to keep it down.
• 20 minutes: Your blood sugar spikes, causing an insulin burst. Your liver responds to this by turning any sugar it can get its hands on into fat. (There’s plenty of that at this particular moment)
• 40 minutes: Caffeine absorption is complete. Your pupils dilate, your blood pressure rises, as a response your livers dumps more sugar into your bloodstream. The adenosine receptors in your brain are now blocked preventing drowsiness.
• 45 minutes: Your body ups your dopamine production stimulating the pleasure centers of your brain. This is physically the same way heroin works, by the way.
• >60 minutes: The phosphoric acid binds calcium, magnesium and zinc in your lower intestine, providing a further boost in metabolism. This is compounded by high doses of sugar and artificial sweeteners also increasing the urinary excretion of calcium.
• >60 Minutes: The caffeine’s diuretic properties come into play. (It makes you have to pee.) It is now assured that you’ll evacuate the bonded calcium, magnesium and zinc that was headed to your bones as well as sodium, electrolyte and water.
• >60 minutes: As the rave inside of you dies down you’ll start to have a sugar crash. You may become irritable and/or sluggish. You’ve also now, literally, pissed away all the water that was in the Coke. But not before infusing it with valuable nutrients your body could have used for things like even having the ability to hydrate your system or build strong bones and teeth.

What do you make of my recent “soda epiphany?”

I’d say there are three main types of bloggers:

1. Online Authors
2. Service/AD Promoters -and-
3. Purely Personal Bloggers

I am a mixture of 1 and 3 and I am working daily to become mostly a 1. I would say for types 2 and 3, online publishing is not really a necessary concern. But if you are trying to develop on online name as an author, then it should be a priority in your blogging week.

A commenter asked me today the following question that I am choosing to answer in this post. She wrote:

How do you go about getting published on the web? Do you approach people, or do they approach you?

Great question. The answer is: BOTH, but mostly you ask them. Lately I have been working on guest blogging on sites I respect and that I feel have a similar audience to my blog. In doing so I have the chance to attract new readers and give the host blog my traffic for the day I have the guest blog up. They get a link from my announcement of the post and I of course get a backlink from the post in the short bio credits. Guest blogging is the best way I have found to publish on the web. I recommend you frequently let your readers know you are interested in doing it and then that you approach specific bloggers through email with your proposal. If they say no, don’t be crushed. But mostly they say yes in my experience.

In addition to guest blogging, there are many web publishing blogs and ezines that will publish your writing. Two that I write for on a regular basis are:

BlogCritics -and-

Associated Content (AC)

You must apply to BlogCritics and AC approves on a post by post basis.

As I said, there are many many services and blogs you can publish online to. Have a look around the web and see what’s right for your style. In publishing your work other places than your primary blog you get your name around the web. These create backlinks to your blog thereby giving it better seo authority (ie; your posts come up higher in the searches) and advertisers see you as a better value when they consider paying you to show off their products.

The other benefit, which is to me most paramount, is it gets you more familiar with the worldwide audience that is the web. I like to get out of my blog comfort zone and challenge myself to write for new audiences. Ultimately, the “writer” type of blogger, as opposed to the commercial or strictly diarist type, should be challenging him/herself with new writing situations as this will improve her/his ability to attract and engage readers for the lifetime of their blog. (I hope mine is as long as my own lifetime ;) Actually one of my secret dreams is to make enough money through online publishing to be able to buy some Briggs and Riley fine luggage and take my wife to Ireland on a romantic vacation. Who knows, stranger things have happened right? If nothing else, whether the online publishing pays out or not, I know I’ll be a better writer and since I started, that has always been what it is all about for me.

Do you know of some other online publishing avenues out there I haven’t mentioned?

Aside: Everyone has told me all my life that California has the highest home values in the country. My wife and I have been checking out homes for the past several months and we’ve found that for our income and credit, we barely qualify. Actually, to be honest, we still haven’t qualified for a reasonable amount but we are told we may. It has got me to wondering what the houses go for in other states. I’ve heard of the amazing properties in Colorado’s Winter Park real estate and I’ve looked into Arizona and a few other so called “cheap states.” The results are mixed. Yes there are some significantly cheaper homes but the teacher pay is also significantly lower. It looks like we are destined to stay in California for now. This is kind of a personal post, or what I call an “aside.” Keep my wife and in your thoughts as we continue to apply and fax and refax and mail etc. in our quest for home ownership. I will be updating our progress here as it unfolds. Currently we are waiting on an FHA loan for 180-200K. There have been a lot of letdowns so far, so we’ll see. We aren’t losing hope.

When it comes to most things, I am really not a stickler for anything. This is especially true when it comes to staying in hotels. I would rather spend the extra money, for example, that one of the ritzy Las Vegas hotels would cost me on gambling and fun money and stay in a cheaper place. Some people are different. They prefer the nicest they can afford. I prefer the cheapest that exists. Let’s face it, for the most part they all have their new soap, fresh towels, and the usual amenities. Is it worth 50 bucks more just for the prestige of a name?

Another way I’m not picky is with movie theaters. There are so many fancy schmancy ones popping up over here lately you would think they were government subsidized. We went to see 10,000 BC the other night at one and it was a ghetto theatre (to put it bluntly). I didn’t care. The movie was good and I was glad to be with my wife, what more could I ask for? Do I need the state-of-the-art stuff to be entertained? Not hardly. Some of the greatest memories I have of going to the movie involve a humble theater.

What are you just not picky about?

I have learned this lesson once again, that most of life’s bummers work themselves out in 24 hours or less. Therefore I have come to this conclusion: I will put worries on the back burner for 24 hours before I start to stress and worry about them. Let me explain:

Yesterday my wife was supposed to receive her first paycheck for substitute teaching. It was to be a substantial amount (by our standards) and we were depending on it to pay some bills that remained after the first as well as for food and misc. expenses the rest of the month. To make a long story short they told her the time card was never turned in and the person responsible was at a conference for three days. This did not make us happy. We left messages for a few people and then began to scowl in our reality that we wouldn’t be paid until the following month. It was definitely a “bummer” evening in our house yesterday.

But what a difference a day can make!

Today, my wife received a call apologizing for the glitch in the system and the District cut her a check right there on the spot. The end result? We got our money and everything was as it was before “the dark times.”

The reason I am sharing this is not to say we should never stress over things. If we hadn’t stressed a little, we wouldn’t have contacted anyone to get it resolved. What I am saying is that problems have a way of working themselves out on their own so you’d do well to put a time limit on these issues before you get bothered about them. 24 hours is a nice numbers, it gives the people involved a chance to sleep and theworkday to roll over once. The next time I have an issue like this, I will try it and report back to you the results!

What do you think of the 24 hour rule?

Do you know that Simon and Garfunkel tune? You know the one where they say … “Feelin’ Groovy!” That came into my head as I was thinking about what to blog on today. Another psychology topic, that makes two in a row. This one is more specifically about what I call the “Psychology of Perception.”  I have been interested in in psychology for almost two decades now. All throughout my 20’s (the 1990’s) I read books by authors such as M. Scott Peck, Rollo May, Leo Buscgalia, Richard Carlson, and a host of others. I ended up specializing in education but my personal reading interests have always lied in psych. I’m not ashamed to say as well that I have paid for counseling on more than one occasion. It has benefited me greatly and I truly admire all walks of mental health therapists. They have a tough job and if they do it right, they can transform a person’s life for the better.  I think if we’re honest with ourselves, we are all a little kooky, hence the title of this blog.

Today I’m reminded of that song aforementioned. I don’t want to feel stressed about life … that just isn’t me. When I am stressed, I become something different … someone different. Maybe not altogether, but people approach me and say: “Are you okay? Are you sick?” I have one of those demeanors that is inescapably transparent and people around me, including my wife, tell me they can tell when I am stressed or not myself. For example, the other day my wife told me I looked younger because I had shaved very close but when she glanced down further at my neck, she noticed there was still some stubble there. eek. I hate it when I am in a rush and miss that. Ever happen to you? Anyway, she told me I look “older” when I miss that area. It’s like a 5 o’clock shadow at 8am. Well, as I have been saying, do you know why I missed that? Because I was stressed!

I need to feel groovy but how do I get there? Well … I can plan my day based on things I am passionate about. As a teacher I know how to do this. You tie in the lessons to examples that you are interested in and it makes for a much more effective lesson. Yes, it takes more creativity, wit, and candor than just following the rote textbook, but it pays off for your attitud3e and for their achievement results. In other lines of work, or for housewives, you’ll have to plug in your own connection here though I could think of some.

Kicking up the cobblestones of your life and feeling groovy is the way top a great day and that great day multiplies and translates into a great month and then a great year. Try and get a hold of that song if you can. Listen to it and make it your mantra today. Remember the psychology of looking at things from another angle. Don’t fixate on the angle that brings you down. There are always more than one way to perceive a situation.

Sometimes, the Mr. Mom day goes great! I was home sick playing Mr. Mom today and though the job is usually more than I can handle, it wasn’t half bad! Somehow I found what one blog I read calls Dad Balance. My son had an orthodontist appointment so dragging the 2 girls in diapers in the car and into the waiting room was probably the hardest part. After that, I simply dropped my son off at school and the rest of the day was pretty easy. I did learn that my 3 year old can never be left in the car, even when I am simply running up a driveway to sign my son in. She let out a wail that still has my ears ringing. Poor thing. Oh well, it was a learn as you go daddy day!

When we got home my 2 babies were playful and cute. I enjoyed their company and did the horsie ride thing for a while. When the 8 month old started screaming and eating her fist, I knew it was time for a ba ba and nap. For once, I was 100% correct! She took her baba and went down where she stayed for several hours (ahhh that is so nice!). My other daughter on the other hand was not ready to go down without a fight. I had some reading and writing to do that was somewhat important so I knew her hanging on me was not going to prove productive. I made a deal with her that if I gave her a fun bath with toys and then dressed her up warmy-warm (a term here, yes I know it sounds quite effeminate, don’t tell anyone) then she would go to a little nappy-bye (another term). She said NO! LOL I knew I was in for trouble. Anyway after a bath and dressing time that seemed to last over an hour, I finally got her into bed. Hearning the door click behind me as I left her room I felt a rush of accomplishment as Mr. Mom.

A little back-story: I was so fortunate today to have the best sub for my work kids today, as you know I am a 4th grade teacher.  Sarah, my wife subbed in my absence today.  I got my first “check-in” call about noon and was happy to report that things were going smoothly.  I was also pleased to say most my duties were done.

I know this success isn’t always the case for dads who try Mr. Mom, but I am very proud of myself. Now, if I can just convince my hard-working wife to take us all out to dinner! Making a meal just doesn’t sound like my idea of fun right now. Moms … I salute you!

My wife loves getting flowers. I have bought her flowers in various ways through the years and a couple of times I have tried valentines day delivery. I had mixed results since that day flowers are in such high demand. Delivery would be the very best option if you knew you could get a reasonable price and that it would get delivered at the right time. A great delivery company should meet both criteria. Flowers touch in a special way and they are obviously one of the most popular things to get your wife for Valentines Day.

Question to the guys out there: How do you purchase flowers for your wife or girlfriend on Valentines Day?