Table of contents for The Practice of Having an Open Mind
- Power of Mantra
- Listening Experiment
- Accept Everything
- Just Live it
- Jonestown Kool Aid and Grandpa’s Trash Bins
- Try Being Humble, Really Humble
- Embracing Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy
- Success by Yellow Pad
- Prepare to Meet the Villain
- Paradigm Shifts and Ordinary Enlightenment
- Stop, Look, and Support
- The Practice of Empathy
Did you ever see a superhero movie where the hero finds the villain’s lair only to hear upon entry:
Welcome. We’ve been expecting you.
Then there is a ghoulish laugh like “bwah ha ha ha ha” or something like that? That scene is pretty common in superhero shows. It’s possible audiences relate with it so well because we all have metaphorical villains that we fear. When our fear materializes it seems composed and set on destroying us. In those scenarios, fear has control, we do not. Wouldn’t it be great if when our fear shows itself we could say to it:
And I have been expecting you!
Preparation to meet our “villain” is the key to good mental health. Sorry if the picture is too scary, but I thought it accentuated my point well. The villain is not for kids.
If you go back and read my post on the REBT psychology method you will see that our belief about adversity is what determines our action and consequence. Wrong beliefs about things defeat us. At the present time, these posts of inspiration and good mental health are my favorite to write. If your greatest fear is to lose your job, which is probably mine in all honesty even though I have a pretty secure job, then ask yourself why does that scare you so much. Is your worth 100% in your job? I know mine isn’t. As you begin analyzing that fear and asking “Why?” you can become prepared for the fear when it comes up. Classic example of REBT: Your boss calls you into his office. Do you panic? This is your villain manifesting itself. There is no need to panic if you meet him prepared. Your greatest fear is probably not even going to happen and imagine how much trouble you’ll save yourself by not being so concerned. You can beat that villain and another and another until ideally fear no longer has a hold over you (I am not there quite yet). It’s a great thing when defeat a villain, despite his size.
REBT is my latest excitement to blog about, thought it is certainly nothing new. As I close, let me draw your attention to another psychological marvel that shows us really all our collective villains I guestblogged about in a simple list:
The 10 Cognitive Distortions. These are the biggies to watch out for. Remember this ‘aint no movie, this is your one shot at a life.
Now, go get yourself prepared to meet the villain.
Hi. I'm Damien Riley, MA.
5 Comments
looks like you’re becoming really good friends with good old albert ellis and his REBT!
btw, some people call these villains gremlins (i’ve written about it here. i always find it fascinating how by using just the right word, we can find a chink in the armour of those self-defeating beliefs, attitudes and behaviours.
thanks for the shoutout! i still have quite a few people coming to that post about the 10 distortions.
I always thought my retort to my fear’s “I’ve been expecting you” would be, “And so we meet again!” but the line you suggested sounds so much cooler!
One of my biggest fear used to be losing my job too but I guess I won that battle by starting my own business - “No one can fire me now, mua ha ha ha ha!”
Then my villain evolved, as they do in some comic books, from Job Security to simply The Job who is even worse - “Will I get enough jobs to pay my bills? Will I get a project at all this month? Should I consider getting a “stable job” instead?”
I come to realise that no job in the world, nothing, is permanent or unchanging and that is the winning factor in crushing my inner villain.
Of course, my fear will continue to morph into other forms, but when we meet again, *I* will be saying with arms crossed and a knowing smile, “I’ve been expecting you.”
Ms last blog post..Ouch Good Pain
My husband taught me an exercise that this post reminded me of…(especially with your work/boss example) - you ask yourself “What is the worst that can happen?” - so for example - you lose your job, what’s the worst that will happen…you lose your house, your family, etc. etc. etc. etc. until what? nothing. Nothing else worse could happen. It kind of helps you work on being more prepared for how to deal with those villains.
On a side note, I changed my theme on IMBL & would be interested on your thoughts on it, you being the offical #1 IMBL fan and all :)
Chelles last blog post..Why Dandelions Exist
Great article. I don’t think psychology has been as embraced by the medical world as it could be, but it’s definitely there. By the way, The Joker, nice choice. You’ll get tons of hits because of Heath Ledgers oscar-worthy performance.
Nobody can tell you what you already know. It sounds like you have the attitude down pat. You can do it, I believe in you.
Damien Rileys last blog post..Five things about Me
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